It’s day 28 in the Big Brother house (the official, exact, precise, undisputable, number, on average, of the approximate/guesstimated quantity of rabbits living in one half to one acre of grassland, taking into account variables such as food availability, available mates and foot stools – as most rabbits like a foot stool because their feet are so big and therefore get tired at the end of a day. If your feet were precisely/approximately half as long as your body, wouldn’t you like to rest them on a footstool?)

Today, Rich was in charge of writing out the shopping list for the rest of the inmates. House mates were oblivious to the fact that for every item they recited to Rich he only wrote ‘1 pack of paracetemol .’ He explained the unusual order of 68 packs of paracetemol by explaining that he had at least 376 more bones in his body than the average human (most of them in his face) and with every one of them being arthritic, he needs massive doses of painkillers to allow him to live properly. He claims that he also suffers with seasonal heat induced tarsophalangitis (SHIT) which causes his bed sheets to become very wet rather regularly, which is also very painful and stinks too.

Rich has set a challenge to all the house mates that he can run the fastest, head first at a wall and suffer the least amount of headache. The winner, he has decided will claim the much sought after box of paracetemol.