Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Leslie Ash competition

Whilst washing my next door neighbours cat I happened to stumble upon a magazine entitled "Big Jugs" - which was all about metal work. Now in said magazine was a competition. Now we all like competitions don't we boys and girls, especially competitions where you could win a years supply of makeup remover. The comoox.com office went wild over this and with the kind permission of "Big Jugs" we are allowing comoox readers to compete. All you have to do is complete the following sentence "Yesterday I had a very awkward incident involving a policeman and Leslie Ash...". As easy as that. Alan* our new window cleaner came up with the following. See if you can beat it!

"Yesterday I had a very awkward incident involving a policeman and Leslie Ash... Leslie and I had just been for a coffee after shopping for jaundice pills on the internet when we were stopped by a panting police officer. "Did you just see a man run this way", he gasped.... and followed with "Are you that Leslie Ash bint?". Now Leslie doesn't normally like to be stopped in the street especially by overweight police officers but as nice as she is she didn't make a fuss and told the police officer not to make a scene. "Make a scene!", he shouted "make a scene!... now why would I make a scene you pretentious tramp". At which point a buttered scone fell from an open top bus and landed on to his nose."

*Alan is on day release

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5 Comments:

At 1:45 PM , the bearded jockey said...

yesterday I had a very awkward incident involving a policeman and Leslie Ash...

I was asked by Leslie to help lift her precisely six inches off the floor so that she would know what it would be like if she was either six inches taller or stood on something with an overall height of six inches. Now during this process a police officer happened to come by and assumed that I was 'skirt sniffing' (which was what he charged me for). Now when Leslie tried to reassure him that it was okay and that we were friends, the policeman charged her with soliciting a public event of skirt sniffing. We both face the death penalty in June.

 
At 2:06 AM , T.H. Elliott said...

Not sure if it's appropriate for your site, here's the link:

http://blog.philosophicallybroken.com/2007/04/leslie-ash-competition.html

 
At 6:47 AM , matt of comooxdom said...

wooahhh. Now that's prose. T.H. You have a way with words that's on a par with Hemingway. I was there man - surfing the web with you!

Your submission will be reviewed, binned, recycled and then reviwed again. Stay in touch.

M.

 
At 10:57 PM , Rich@comoox.com said...

Yesterday I had a very awkward incident involving a policeman and Leslie Ash.

I did not know who she was until I asked a nearby policeman, who told me she was the one and only trout mouthed ex model.

I obviously misunderstood 'trout mouth' and got confused with the more common phrase 'potty mouth.'

I therefore aggressively accosted Ms. Ash and engaged in an onslaught of obscenities and profanities regarding her general and obvious physical appearance, expecting a witty and obnoxious comedy retort.

I laughed about my disappointment and ludicrous mistake down at the local lock-up with a copper who ironically had a mouth like a 10 pound chubb. How we laughed.

After becoming good friends, myself, Leslie and 'chubby' reminisced about how later that day I had mocked a judge for looking and acting like a monkfish.

 
At 12:00 AM , Invader Stu said...

Yesterday I had a very awkward incident involving a policeman and Leslie Ash...

Yesterday I had a very awkward incident involving a policeman and Leslie Ash...

When I saw her signing copies of Men Behaving Badly I did not recognise her and reported her to a police man for writing graphite over DVDs that people had just bought.

 

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